Also you will not marry, or encourage others to marry, based on wrong reasons. Many young people are today in emotional and psychological prisons because pastors, friends and family members alike have pressured them to stop being alone, when these young people have not yet achieved the state of being single! The result of this is more unhappy marriages and more divorces.
The fundamental truth we need to understand and grasp its revelation from scriptures is that when God observed that it was not good for Adam to be alone, Adam was totally whole (Eve was taken out of him), totally unique, and totally separate. He did not even know he needed someone else. Until you get to that state, you are not ready to stop being alone. In other words, what God was saying is that, “it is not good for a man to be alone if he is single.”
This means, you do not need to marry someone until you are truly a single person. You are better off alone, if you are not yet single – if you are not yet unique, separate, and whole. Until you become single, you are not qualified to give yourself away in marriage. If you do not know who you are yet, what are you going to give when you are bonded with someone else? It is dangerous to have a “sick” person marry a “sick” person. It is therefore safer to be unmarried if you are not yet single.
This is because, you would only end up an anointed heart breaker. One mistake people make, is thinking that marriage solves the problem of loneliness. The truth I have come to discover is that you can be married and still be very lonely. Loneliness is magnified when you marry, if you are not unique, separate, and whole, or if your spouse is not. Many young people are been deceived to think that marriage is the key to happiness, but I have come to discover that becoming whole and finding your uniqueness is the real key to happiness. And God is the only one that has that key. You must find yourself, if you must find that person that would complement you in marriage. What you contain would determine who you eventually attract.
Too many young people are today looking for who they are in other people, which is why their pictures fly all around facebook and other social media seeking other people’s approval. Many women and men are so busy looking for someone to be all things to them that they do not have time to be who they are. If you are too preoccupied looking for someone to be all things to you, you have no one and nothing to give them. Then you have a major problem in the making, because no one can give enough time or attention to make up for the emptiness where you are supposed to be full.
And if you are empty of a real self, then the other person would be very unhappy because you have nothing to give back. Marriage is actually a divine interruption that comes to those that have successfully found themselves. It is God bringing a companion to those who have come to know who they are. When you have discovered who you are, you will know who you really need. Consider this scenario that played out in the Garden of Eden; “And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18
This was God’s observation and intended solution. So what did God do? “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all the cattle, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:19-20 If you consider the above scenario carefully, you would discover that God’s intent was to test if Adam was truly single. If he was not single, he would not have known what he really needed.
He would have picked one of those creatures for a wife. But it was said, “but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him.” This is why I believe that God subjected him to a singleness test, “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” Genesis 2:21-22 Here is the big bang! “And Adam said, this is NOW bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:23
The implication of this statement is that Adam could differentiate between what God brought to him in chapter 2:19-20 and what he brought in chapter 2:21-22. Adam new who he was and could discern who he needed. Adam was single, so he qualified for marriage and brought an end to loneliness. Are you single? Until you are single, you are not qualified to overcome loneliness. Your marriage will only be as successful as your singleness, because you can only bring to a marriage what you are as a person alone. Marriage is honorable in itself, it is unsanctified sexuality that breeds trouble.
Hebrews 13:4 No human being can meet your ego needs. No human being can meet your soul needs. No human being can meet your spiritual needs. All these needs can only be met when you are totally fulfilled in God. This is because love existed before man and therefore has nothing do with our emotions, feelings or sexuality.
Accept and Love yourself Before you love others, you must love yourself. By loving yourself, I do not imply self-centeredness, self-love, pride or selfishness. I am taking about finding out who you are in Christ and as a person, then coming to terms with that person. Knowing who you are is the first step toward wholeness, and accepting that person is the second step. Most failed marriages consist mostly of two self-haters trying to love one another. Mark these words, if you need to get married to be fulfilled or loved, you are not ready for marriage. The very thing that makes you need to get married will become the problem or saving grace in the marriage. In the words of Jesus in Matthew 22:39, “love your neighbors as you love yourself.” You can’t love another person genuinely if you do not love yourself first – you cannot give what you do not have. Most young people today “fake one another out” with false hugs and kisses in schools and churches. They appear to be so loving – when they hate themselves. They claim to love you but never spare the slightest chance to slight you behind your back before confirming the truth. It is not enough to say you love me. The thing is not going to work until you love you, because if you do not love you, you are going to be looking to me to make up for that. You will expect from me more than that I can possibly give, in order to make up for what you lack in yourself. So many people get so busy trying to love their neighbors that they have no time to love themselves. Then they get disappointed in themselves and add to self-rejection when they find they cannot love them.
Most of the time, we project the blame onto them. We gossip, judge, criticize, and all the time, we are really thinking badly of ourselves. The more they look bad to us, the better we look to ourselves. So we are building ourselves up at their expense. Until you are at peace with yourself, you cannot be at peace with world around you. The sexually sanctified are complete and single people.
They are always at home with God’s presence. They do not need people to stay happy on their birthdays, wedding anniversary, or other festive seasons. They strive for God’s presence and stay happy – for in his presence is fullness of joy and pleasures for evermore. Who likes them or hates them is of no consequence. These people have vision, goals, purposes, aspirations, and plans for their lives. This is one thing that attracts me to people.
A whole person knows who he is, why he is at a certain place, where he is going, and how he is going to get there. To be sexually sanctified is to love yourself and accept God’s presence as the only acceptable qualifier for the pursuit of happiness. For this is the will of God even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from sexual sins.
That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour. 1 Thessalonian 4:3-4 Make it a date with revelation at this years’ RED ROSE SUMMIT 2016.
Theme: SANCTIFIED SEXUALITY. We shall be considering how to fall in love, Marriage is not 50-50, overcome rejection, and abstain from sexual sins. There shall be robust question and answer sessions, as well as counseling. The power of God would be present to break every satanic addictions in Jesus name.